Another Kick in the Ass

Last year around this time I wrote that it was time to slim down again. I had become a fat lazy fuck and I knew it.

The scale already told me. That wasn’t the shock. The shock was coming home from Zimanga 2025, opening a GoPro clip from the trip, and seeing myself on my own footage. What the fuck am I that fat?

That clip got me off my ass. The next six months I trained a lot and ate healthy: mostly chicken and avocado. Almost 15 kilos gone in about six months. From January the momentum died. I still lost a little every month, but more slowly. Lowest before summer was around 78 kg.

Then summer arrived... This year at Zimanga I was about 82 kg. I told myself the usual: when I get home I’ll get back to the gym. It took about three weeks. Every day the same: I’m too busy, tomorrow.

Yesterday my wife said, very firmly, that tomorrow morning I go with her to the gym. There was no opt-out. I knew it. I just got home from that session about thirty minutes ago. It feels good. You just need a kick in the ass and then you go. No more excuses. Next time is already planned (she forced me to commit a day and time when we came back), Saturday morning first thing after getting out of the bed, we hit the gym.

That kick was one of three things that finally moved me.

1. Ski season is coming.

I usually ski about four weeks a season. End of last season, I don't remember why but we was in the cabin and I just had an idea, I wanna buy a pair of powder skies, I started to research with ChatGPT what's the best for me to get and we came to the conclusion DPS Kaizen 112 it's not a very common ski to find randomly. However we drove down to one of the ski stores and funny they had a paid of DPS Kaizen 112 and at 50% discount.
I had never really done powder or off-piste. I’m the guy who wants perfect groomers and to carve fast. Then I tried it. Damn it was fun. And damn my legs went sour fast.

I said it then: I have to train my legs before next season. Here we are in September. I haven’t. Five months to get in better shape.

2. I don’t want to be a fat fuck.

What killed the momentum last time is the same as every time: at 80 kg I don’t look fat in clothes. I look fine. Training is not something I enjoy. I do it because I have to. That’s a weak motivator. I need an outside reason — ski season, a trip, a wife who doesn’t accept “tomorrow.”

The problem is what happens after ski season. The reason disappears. Same cycle every year: fall I train and slim down. Spring and summer I stop, eat, drink red wine, and put weight back on. This year it wasn’t dramatic. It still happened.

3. The thought I can’t shake.

I keep wondering what I would look like if I had never run this six-month cycle for the last ten years. I’m not going to pretend I suddenly love the gym. I don’t. I went this morning because there was no other option, and because I still have five months before I want my legs to not get as sour in deep snow. Will I quit going to the guy next spring and gain back some weight? Probably... I hope it's different this time, but who are we kidding?